Day 2: Klingons, Aliens, and having it TOO EASY

It may be just my sunny disposition, but I get worried when things feel too easy. I'm a firm believer that everything should come at a great struggle ... everything should be a BATTLE. Maybe it's that Klingon blood in me ...

KAPLAH! (That's me on the left, before all the laser hair removal)

I know. I should just relax and revel in the fact that Day 1 and 2 have been easy breezy beautiful (COVERGIRL). According to this nifty timeline (http://whole9life.com/2012/06/the-whole30-timeline/) I should start feeling pretty shitty in 24-36 hours. Frankly, I think what helped was that I've spent the last month or so weaning myself from Rockstar and Diet Crack. I have felt like serious ASS for WEEKS because of detoxing from that nonsense. I had the shakes, the sweats, the nightmares, the painful erections ... it was horrible.

Aside: I realized that I've been drinking Diet Coke for about 25 years. THAT. IS. SERIOUSLY. GROSS.

DIET CRACK ... now with MOAR EVIL.

The Rockstar has been relatively new to my repertoire of self-abuse ... but ... omg ... sometimes I still dream of it's sweet, sweet nectar.

So. Delicious. So. Wrong.

Now ... don't get me wrong ... will I ever have another Rockstar in my lifetime? Probably yes. Will I have 2-3 a day? Plus 3 Diet Cracks. Plus coffee? You have my permission to smack me RIGHT IN THE FACE HOLES. Once, for fun, I decided to test the PH balance of my pee (don't judge me, we all have hobbies) after a bender like the above. The strip came back with:

YOU HAVE ACID FOR BLOODS. TACTICAL WMDS HAVE BEEN DEPLOYED TO NUKE THE SITE FROM ORBIT TO BE SURE YOU AND YOUR ALIEN SPECIES DIE.

So yeah. I decided to stop. And I've been clean for about 30 days. And I just narrowly avoided being destroyed by the tactical nukes. Mostly because I was wearing my tinfoil hat. Mostly.

Anywhore ... enough rambling ...onwards and upwards! Day 3 here we come!!