Day 16: Tiger Blood and My Pants

According to the friendly email I received this morning ... I should FEEL the TIGER BLOOD running through mah veins.

WINNING. Blood is TOTALLY on-plan, tiger or otherwise.

I'm not sure I know what that would feel like. The closest examples I have are my cats (they are kinda mini-tigers, right?). They sleep A LOT. They are loud when they want something. They have sharp claws. Again, I don't know how that translates to human activity ... but they are adorable.

Winston is #WINNING.

Anyhow. I actually don't feel so awesome. I have slug blood. Or whatever the opposite of TIGER BLOOD should be. Why? I'm not sure. However, I have a hypothesis. I think my drugs are making me sick. Now, not the FUN/AWESOME drugs ... but the boring drugs. I take something that lowers my blood sugar (NOT insulin) and I think all of this WHOLE30 stuff is making that medication work ... TOO well. My evidence:

I HAVE TEH GRAPHS:

My fasting and non-fasting blood sugars. Droppin' like it's hot, yo.

Calories. Kinda wild and crazy before ... low and even now.

I'm thinking that my body and medications are fighting. Ergo = I feel like crap. I'll tough it out for awhile and if things get TOO WEIRD/UNCOMFORTABLE I shall avail myself of my physician, forthwith.

In other news, it may be time to retire TWO pairs of pants. TWO! I have 3 pairs of black work pants (I know, boring. I am seriously fashion stunted. DO NOT JUDGE MEEEE). Two of these are made of semi-stretchy space age fabrics. These two pairs of pants are getting scandalously too big. By scandalously, I mean, I have moments in the parking garage where I'm glad that I park in the 5th circle of hell because a random passerby would have gotten A SHOW. FOR FREE.

And Mama doesn't just shell out the show for FREE.

How does one retire ... PANTS? I'm thinking Nate and I shall have a ceremony where I hoist my pants up to the ceiling of our closet while Boyz II Men plays, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye" ...

Picture IT:


AND THEN THIS ... lit with spotlights, pulled up super slow ....

Adieu, pants. Adieu.

*sniff*

It's so .... beautiful.