Day 10: My chemical nonsense

Is it Day 10 already? Sheesh. Time flies when you aren't drinking. Or not. =)

I have to admit. I'm a little bored. B-O-R-E-D. Hell, even this post is BORING. You see, I think I'm about to hit another danger zone. It is the danger zone where you think you have everything on lock down and everything is routine AND YOU GET BORED.

AND THEN YOU TEMPT FATE.

AND THEN YOU FUBAR EVERYTHING. BECAUSE YOU CAN.

AND THEN YOU WAKE UP IN AN ALLEY WAY COVERED IN YOUR OWN VOMIT AND YOU ARE MISSING YOUR SHIRT (not that EVER happened to me. ever. it happened to a friend. that one time. at band camp.)

Don't get me wrong. I am not experiencing any thoughts and/or temptations about breaking my little experiment. It's just that well ... yeah ... again ... a sense of ennui. A sense of .. something is missing. I am the first to admit, I am the root cause of most of my own downfalls and failures. I think this BORING stage is one of my traps. So yeah. There's that.

I also have a work event for a big part of the day tomorrow. Where inevitably people will give me shit about not drinking ... which ... yeah, good times. I know. Fake it with some club soda and a lime or some water in a wine glass. However, given that I am a girl-person of a child-breeding age ... I get the even more awesome eyebrow raise of "OMG YOU ARE TOTES PROBABLY HOUSING A FETUS!!!! OMG! WHEN ARE YOU DUE???".

Which that nonsense makes me want to stuff my shirt and clutch a bottle of Jack Daniels. Maybe even take a fake cigarette break. And talk about how sick I am in the mornings. And how I'm craving ice cream and raw meat. Or whatever it is that pregnant people do.

Totes drinking for two!

And then there's the entire chorus of "OMG! JEN you are a DEBBIE DOWNER FOR NOT DRINKING!!!". Womp womp.

I say onto you, O YE WHO QUESTION MY NON-DRINKING STATUS, you cannot handle the JEN sober ... you def. CANNOT handle the JEN Chemically ENHANCED!

We shall see what the day brings tomorrow. Hopefully, I will not need to shank any bitches.